I have finally discovered why I travel. It’s not because I get to go to far away places, take photos of cool things, sleep in bus stations, hunt for interesting vegan food options, or feel dirty from going without a shower for a week, no. Those are all good things, but the real reason is that I hate mowing my damn lawn. I cut it an hour ago, first time in a few weeks because it’s really hot and it hasn’t been growing much, and I realized that I only have to cut it once more before I leave. And then maybe once when I get back, and then it will be the middle of September when I am home again, and by then it is getting cold out and I might cut it once more. When you’re not home, the lawn is someone else’s problem. An extra tip — you can squeeze an extra day out of not having to cut it by coming home late at night. If you can’t see it, it looks freaking GREAT.

Give me flower beds, bushes, perennials, and mulch over this any day. Maybe I should just cover the whole thing with black landscaping fabric, dump a ton of pea gravel on it, make some stone paths, put some big bushes and some giant rocks, and just revel in what would be a totally kick ass Zen garden. Way better than this mullet lawn I have now. Yes, thats right. Mullet lawn. It grows way faster in the back because of the water drainage.

Anyway. Something else I want to mention. You guys out there, the ones who cook potatoes or pasta, freaking add salt to the water you boil or parboil in! It’s one of the only times you get to add seasoning. Lots of salt. It should taste like the ocean. The salt mostly stays in the water anyway. A sous-chef that my brother once worked for once said “What, are you making hospital food?? Season it!”

This has been a Public Service Announcement, brought to you by The Bravery.