It seems that lately I’ve been comparing things in life to things in photography. I’m not sure why that is — maybe it’s because we attempt to use the latter to capture fleeting glimpses of the former, as best we can. Sometimes when you take a photo, you try to isolate one thing, something of interest, from everything else in the photo. By using narrow depths of field, you can blur out the background, eliminate the noise, and bring your subject into greater “obviousness”, for lack of a better word. Lately, it seems that I’ve been trying to apply bokeh (the camera term for this) to my real life. Often times, we become paralysed by choice. Too many options. Some times these options get narrowed down by ourselves, and other times, it’s done for us. The former is often difficult. The latter is often abrupt. In both cases, they reinforce the remaining options, and perhaps make choosing one of those an easier task.

Today would have been my Father’s 74th birthday. While I do think of my Dad often, on this day it usually catches me off guard a little because I forget that he’s not around any more. I can’t simply pick up the phone and hear his voice, or visit, or sit by the wood stove in the basement of our old house and complain about how society is going to hell like we used to.

However, the memories of doing all of those things still exist. I can pull them up with an immediacy and a clarity that surprises me, given that he’s been gone for almost 5 years. Over time, these memories have acquired a soft focus, a glow that’s smoothed out any imperfections and left me with memories that are still very real, yet surreal at the same time. My Dad is my moral compass, and I miss him very much. I’m glad that he’s still with me, in some way. Happy birthday, Pop.

There have been songs written by artists that have become almost unlistenable to me in recent years, due to events that have transpired in my life. “The Start of Something Beautiful” by Porcupine Tree, was one such track. For the first time in well over a year, I put it on this morning, during my walk. Almost made it all the way through. Some songs have powerful lyrics, some have powerful musical scores, some have nuggets of Truth — this particular one has all three. That’s progress, in some small way, and I am thankful for it.

On this nippy day, I stopped to stare at the sunrise and say “What’s going through your head? What exactly, are you up to?” I didn’t get an answer, of course, but sometimes rhetorical questions are the ones with the best answers. Things are … weird right now. I suppose it’s a good thing – I’ll take weird over routine and the norm any day.

I’ve been getting out with the camera a lot, especially since I’ve been back from Africa. My Slovakian friend, Matej, has been a helpful critic; his advice has been to push the envelope, and experiment with contrast. I have been enjoying the attempt — distorting reality can sometimes hide imperfection. I blame my out of focus goofs on frozen fingers stuck to magnesium camera bodies.

A food topic is in order. I made candied ginger last night, but failed to document it, so I will have to do it again. It’s quick, so that’s not a big deal.

My next bit of travel is also up for discussion. I am thinking either Egypt or India, but Romania is a possibility. I have to plan it around January 27, though — Arch Enemy is playing the Phoenix in Toronto! Woo. In light of that fact, the official song of this post is We Will Rise, from the Download festival.